" I woke from a bad dream. I did not remember anything but just knew that it was the worst dream i could ever have had. There was a slight pain in my head. I opened my eyes to see the messed room. My heart was searching for Pete. He must have gone to work. Pete.... I cant avoid a smile when i think about him. We were married for a month now. Everyday i see a new world with him. I wanted to surprise him today. I got up to clean the room and prepare his favorite dish.I was disturbed by the doorbell. It must be Pete. I rushed to the door to find Tom our neighbor. He looked a little tired.
"Hey Nancy, you look real tired. Must be very hard for you!"
" No i guess i overslept. Just working on the dishes. Can i offer you a snack?"
Tom looked surprised. I turned to him and asked, " Is there something wrong?"
He said, " You are one brave women i have ever seen. I didn't see you step out for a couple of days after the death of Pete.. So i just came out to check out if you are fine............."
I did not hear anything after that. I was not able to even see Tom's face. It was like my mind is playing a movie. So it was not a dream. Pete did die in the accident that happened right in front of our house. When i passed out, i was taken to the nearby hospital and brought back home a couple of days back in unconscious state. The reason for my head ache is not oversleeping.
I suddenly felt everything turning dark. My legs became too weak to bear my weight. I fell down......
When i woke up for a change i felt very light. There were too many people in the room. Wait i was able to see Pete. Oh Pete you are back. I moved towards him. In the comfort of his warm hug, i studied the room. There was someone lying on the floor. The doctor checked the pulse and said she is dead. That was an attack. Oh yes that's me. I am back with Pete now....."
This story may seem too crude but the outright fact is that she was not able to accept the truth. She told her conscious that it was a bad dream and couldn't stand it when the same came from an other person's mouth.
We don't mind accepting a lie knowing it to be a lie but cant accept a single bitter truth.
Not just death. I can quote various other occasions. How many of us blame the teacher for lower marks in subjects?? (I am no exception to it!!). How many of us blame the track for not winning a race. We feel happy in passing the blame. We enter into a false belief that i might have won if the track was fine. I might have cleared the exam if the corrections were good. Put it the other way... Had you not prepared well for an exam and got a distinction due to dumb luck, what would you tell others??? How many of us tell others that we were lucky??? Wont we go boasting that it was my great hard work which got paid??? There we again enter a false belief that we have done a real great hard work which is false.
You may lie to others but don't lie to yourself. Remember you came to this world alone and you also go back alone. Parents, friends and others are a part of your life. You are here on a mission and you got to move towards that. I am not here to please you and so you are.
Truth may sometimes be too bitter but learn to face it. Accept the truth and console your mind. But never make a false victory and make your mind believe it!!!
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